Learning how to cope with the inevitable end of my semester abroad
During the past three months in Barcelona, I’ve learned a tremendous number of things. This is cliché, but it really does become obvious during a semester abroad. A lot of the things you thought you knew about other countries turn out to be exaggerations or just straight-up wrong. This cliché, while cheesy, really does change a person in ways I am truly happy to have experienced. As I watch the last couple of my weeks here abroad come to an end, I realize that this amazing world I’ve begun to build for myself in Spain will also end.
I had planned for my last blog in this semester to be something easy, like a trip or food review, but I decided instead that if I start to reflect now, it will help organize my thoughts even better to prepare me for returning to the United States. I hope I can use this blog as a way to reflect upon some of the ways I have been processing the knowledge of my semester ending.
When I passed the two-week mark in Barcelona, with homesickness worn off and the schedule now familiar, I felt a strange feeling: nothing. I had expected at first that once I was settled in my new home, I would start to feel some grandiose feeling of assimilation or newness, but I realized I just felt like my same old self. Because of this, I decided to simply focus on my goals.
After another couple of weeks, it truly began to set in that this was my new reality. Everything I was experiencing—the cultural differences, the work and school differences, all of it—was my new home, and the freedom that came with that was life-changing.
But nothing prepared me for the third week of November, when I realized that in less than one month, I would be back in the United States. Although it may once again feel like home in the US, I wouldn’t necessarily feel the same.
If it does feel like home and like nothing’s changed, does that mean my experience in Barcelona wasn’t enough? So many other students don’t get the chance to study abroad. Did I waste it? These questions started to flood my mind as I passed some time in one of my favorite plazas in my neighborhood alone, giving myself the chance to think.
My time abroad has been one of the greatest things I’ve ever done. Through my time here, I’ve had questions answered and also unlocked new ones. In the United States, my search for career, home, car, and education was all a materialistic hunt to make myself feel what I truly feel in Barcelona: being.
With professors helping me do urban research and finding a place to complete my master's, and friends from all around the world showing me life can be fun with just a couple of euros to spare, I’ve learned that life is not all material; it's spiritual, relational, and inquisitive.
An aspect of myself also changed deeply when I attended my first Spanish mass in my small neighborhood. The Spanish language has always been very personal to me, but as an agnostic, feeling the weight of the language I love being used in such a spiritual community manner, I was moved. I came to the same conclusion at that moment: There truly was something to this trip that was changing me. Every amazing night I’ve experienced out in the city, feeling nothing but freedom, made me scared to go back to the mundane.
Parc de Les Corts, a place to reflect.
As I reflect on these questions and realizations, one thing that still troubles me is coping with the knowledge that I will be going back home soon. To help others answer this question, as I’ve had to do myself these past couple of weeks, I’ve decided to prepare a short list of things you can do to keep yourself happy, healthy, and in tune with the upcoming change as you return home.
1. Connect with your home abroad by experiencing what your neighbors do.
Watch and observe the world around you. Pay attention to which coffee shops the locals frequent, which newsstands they buy from, what they eat and drink, and then copy it. Remember: you are here to learn and experience. If this makes you nervous or makes you feel like an outsider, remember that no one can tell you that you aren’t a “local." Just because you don’t speak the local language or have the same nationality doesn’t mean you aren’t one of them, even just for a short time. I’ve found this has massively helped me to connect with the culture around me in a peaceful way
2. Watch the news.
While it’s true there’s nothing good on the news, it can be an excellent way to connect with different perspectives from around the world. This may reaffirm or challenge your political views. Either way, hearing it come from an entirely different people group (bonus points if it’s in the local language) can show you a lot of unique ways to deal with events going on back in your home country, using your new knowledge to imagine how another region of the world might view a topic. My host mom and I talk about the news every night over dinner in Spanish, and I understand a lot more about current events, which will help me discuss them more effectively when I get back home!
3. Bring some local entertainment back home.
As I have already mentioned, I was familiar with some Spanish culture before I came to Spain. This, however, did not stop me from wanting to consume uniquely Spanish content. Music, books, movies, or games in the local designs, colors, or language can be a great way to make your experience abroad stay with you, even as you touch down in your home country. I’ve personally created a Spotify playlist of the music I’ve heard over here through local events, antique bars, or fancy shows, which I plan to listen to on my plane home. Don’t just look up the common music; take Shazam into your city and learn new music!
4. Reevaluate photos to experience things unseen.
One thing I have been very conscious of during my time here in Barcelona is the use of my camera. I don’t actually need thousands of photos of the same historic buildings and tourist traps. Upon second look through your photos, try to spot the more uncommon aspects of pictures by zooming in on things in the background, like people, different unique colors, or new patterns. I guarantee that if you take a second look at photos you think are just mundane and normal, you’ll end up finding some truly unique perspectives in them. This has caused me to not just delete, but crop and edit photos, finding things in them that I actually like more or are more meaningful than what I had originally tried to capture.
Bringing back some local reading to remind me of my time in Barcelona.
Even if it’s difficult, remember that reflection and loss are tools to help us change and grow into the best versions of ourselves. I greatly hope that our reflections during these last couple of weeks truly help us to come to new conclusions and unlock new parts of ourselves that we never may have experienced if we hadn’t gone abroad.
I hope to see you again someday, Barcelona!